How To Enjoy The Dating Process
By Leslie Wardman
Matchmaker for Ambiance Matchmaking
Dating can be an emotional roller coaster. There are so many ways it can wear you out. Replaying conversations, wishing you had done or said something different, worrying about if you’ll get a call back, and the list goes on. You don’t have to get sucked into this vicious negative feedback cycle. Here we provide 4 tips to relax and enjoy the dating process.
1. I texted the next morning to say “I had a great time last night” and never heard back.
Stop the mental post-date recap abuse. You went out with someone with whom you thought you had a connection, and it turns out you didn’t. Your date woke up and their post-date recap was different from yours. Now you’re going to mentally torture yourself for the next four days trying to figure out what you said wrong. There is nothing you can do differently after a date is over. The post-date recap is a form of mental torture. You will never know what that other person is thinking unless you ask. Better to realize that he or she is just not that into you and start spending your time with someone who is.
2. Should I have said something different in my voicemail message?
You left a voicemail message, and now you’re replaying it in your head a thousand times. “Was the way I said ‘Last night was fun’ not with enough enthusiasm? Is that what is making the person not call me back?” When it comes down to voicemail messages, the shorter the message the better. From an old sales technique, I always prefer to say, “Last night was fun. I have something really funny to share with you the next time we speak.” That’s it . . . it creates a little bit of intrigue, a little bit of mystery and no mental torture.
3. Stop giving your power away to one person.
If a two hour date can cause you to give away all your power and confidence, then you need to learn to embrace yourself and love yourself even more. This is just one person you knew for two hours. They don’t know what an amazing person you are. The only thing they know is the person they sat across from at the table. Whether they choose to hang with you again isn’t the issue. The issue is that one person does not determine your worthiness. You’ve got to toughen your skin. Rejection is what dating is all about. You just can’t take it personally. If I go out with someone and I had a great time, but they never want to see me again, I’m still a great person the next day.
4. In order to feel better about dating, you need to think abundance.
Just because you think you like somebody and they don’t call you back, this is not the last person in the world you’re going to meet. In order to be a successful dater, you need to practice abundance. The power of abundance is training your mind that if it doesn’t work out with one person (or ten people), that there are plenty of others out there wanting to spend time with a fantastic person like yourself.
Just a little trivia…
36% had been on zero dates in the past three months, 13% had one date, 22% had two to four dates and 25% had five or more dates, according to a 2005 U.S. survey.