How To Keep Social Media From Hurting Your Relationship

By Leslie Wardman

1. Jealousy and Drawing the Line

If your relationship already has jealousy issues, then Facebook will not help. The use of social media in relationships can really magnify the insecurities because you do not get to see the “behind the scene” interactions between other people.  If you are feeling insecure, maybe you and your partner should not have Facebook.  It can create an alarm or a temptation….for either investigating or flirting.  You may need to draw the line to the use of Facebook or delete the account.


2. Check-In, Do Not Assume

Posts by your partner, friends, or colleagues are three words to three sentences about their world they are in.  Since you do not have all the back ground to that person’s post, your view of it may be completely off based. Check-in with the other person if you have concerns about a post and get the entire story. Do not just watch and wait for the Facebook relationship status to change or get hidden, and do not just assume that someone is not taking care of themselves by simply reading a two lined message. Take a leap and talk to the other person before you assume. More on communication throughout the dating process in the article, Dating 101: The Simplicity of Dating.


3. Be SUPER Clear

If your relationship is already on the rocks, be super clear with your posts.  Do not post ambiguous posts, such as “Things that make you go hmmmm…”  You might be brainstorming on your next project at work, but your partner may read it after getting off the phone with you and worry that you may be in debate about the relationship, or uncertain about the bond. Give a bit more info so it shows more of your world, such as “Things that make you go hmmmm…. brain storming for work.”  The clearer you are, the less you have to explain.


4. Post Safe Topics

Use safe topics posts that will not strike a cord or can be misinterpreted.  Safe topics may include what are doing for the day, how your work day is going, or maybe a few of your favorite quotes.


5. Do Not Air Your Relationship Dirty Laundry

Your feelings may be consuming you and all you want to do is let it out…on Facebook.  Instead, address the issue directly with your partner.  It is not that people do not care about your relationship and your struggles, but posting your issues and complaining about it is not appropriate…nor will it get you anywhere.  Not everyone needs to know the nitty-gritty about your relationship. Think twice before you post.  It is a public forum.


6. Change Your Privacy Settings

Sometimes personal life really should not mix with business, or certain people should not know your daily life activities.  Remember, people do not know exactly what is going on in your world, may interpret your posts wrong. Filter who can and cannot see your postings and save yourself a lot of pain and heart ache.


7. Include your Partner

Instead of having the Facebook individual and separate, include your partner by either going on together or having a joint account. The relationship could improve drastically by simply bonding over an online social experience as a team.  Allow your partner to sit next you while you go on, helping reassure them.  Discuss what would feel comfortable for the two of you and find a way to include one another.


8. Cut back

It is very easy to caught up (or addicted) to the social networking.  Your interactions with FB are hindering you and your relationships. Cut back. Know when to say no and let go of the steam.


9. Delete the Red-Flag Friends

Sometimes people may cross a line by posting inappropriate messages or flirty comments.  If this person is a red-flag for either you or your partner, it may be time to delete them from friend’s list or you may need to confront the issue straight on.  Being friends with a “red-flag” will not help the relationship heal, improve a bond, or help your partner feel comfortable with you.