Chapter 1: How The Matchmaking Process Works
The matchmaking process can be very exciting and enlightening. While the process may differ slightly depending on which company you choose, the core process is the same. Here’s how it works.
The Screening Process
Professional matchmakers, especially more exclusive and personalized matchmakers, will have a screening phase. During this step, matchmakers can decipher if the applicant has the basic requirements to be accepted as a client. The basics normally includes age, health, location, occupation, income, and net worth. Another reason for the screening phase is to see if the matchmaker has potential clients, or has the resources to conduct a search, for the potential client. The screening phase is very important for professional matchmakers because otherwise, time could be wasted for both parties during the next step in the process; the interview.
If the matchmaker decides the applicant meets the basic requirements, he or she will be invited for an interview that normally lasts between 60 and 90 minutes. Some matchmakers charge a fee for this interview to make sure applicants are serious and also because interviews take a lot of the matchmakers time. The interview should be held in person, or via Skype or FaceTime. During the interview, you should be asked many questions relating to family values, career plans, lifestyle, religion, past relationships, what's important to you in your next relationship, and what kind of future you envision for you and your partner.
If the applicant and matchmaker decide to move forward and work together, there should be an agreement that is discussed and signed before beginning the membership. Normally, membership agreements will last between 6 and 18 months, and will guarantee a minimum of 1-2 matches per month. However, there are many different type of agreements varying in length and number of matches. The agreement should always state that matches will always meet the client’s search parameters discussed during the interview. For example, if the applicant is not flexible on finding a match that is vegetarian, his or her matches should only be vegetarian. Make sure these non-negotiables are clearly discussed in your interview with your matchmaker.It is common that agreements will state a no-refund policy, though some matchmakers will allow partial refunds.
Following a signed agreement, your matchmaker will begin searching for your matches within the company’s database or network. Matchmakers have many different methods for finding candidates and should always be upfront about it. Some matchmakers rely on attending social and networking events to recruit candidates. Others use digital search methods, such as scouring online dating and social networking sites. A few of the most established matchmakers have their own private matchmaker’s network, where they can search within fellow matchmaker’s databases. Ambiance Matchmaking has created their own Private Matchmaker Database by inviting 79 of the best worldwide matchmakers. This database is completely private and confidential.
Once your matchmaker has conducted a search, you will begin meeting your matches. Normally your matchmaker, or a client coordinator, will contact you to describe your first match. Only basic information is shared, such as first name, age, height, hair and eye color, occupation, hobbies, and why you are a good match. Sometimes matchmakers have a no-photo policy, which means they are not allowed to show photos of your matches, meaning first dates will always be blind dates. Some matchmakers will allow clients to contact one another via phone to schedule their own date, while other more personalized matchmakers will arrange everything for you. For example, Ambiance Matchmaking has its own Client Coordinator that arranges matches for each client within its own private network of Partner Restaurants.
The Feedback Process
After the match, there should always be a step where the client can give feedback on their match in order to improve the matchmaking process. Keep in mind, the matchmaking process is a process. It involves your matchmaker getting to know you and what you need in a life partner through a series of stages, including the dating stage. Many people expect to find their life partner on the first date, when in reality, it can take time and patience. This is why most memberships can last up to 12 or 18 months. Following each match, it is very important that you give feedback to your matchmaker (or other point of contact). Be as open and honest as possible. You should be asked questions like, What did you like about your match? What would you like us to focus on for your next match? This part of the matchmaking process can be very enlightening for people, as they may even notice things about themselves or what they need in a partner that wasn’t obvious before.
It is very important that your matchmaker offers an “on-hold” or “account freezing” feature that allows you to freeze your membership as many times as you’d like during your membership. This allows you to explore the possibility of relationships with your matches. For example, if you meet someone you really like, you can freeze your membership and date this person exclusively. If it works out, great. If it doesn’t, you can pickup your membership where you left off without losing time or matches.